Con lo único que contaba es que la hija de la chingada nada más esperaba el momento para putearnos. Entonces la medio guía - y digo “medio guía” porque literal era la mitad de un guía, de que medía como 20 centímetros y así - nos explicó que si una avestruz nos perseguía debíamos poner un palo - de un grosor así como más gustan - y ponerlo frente a nosotros para bloquear las posibles patadas.

Ah, sí, espérame tantito, déjame busco un chingado Marti en medio de la sabana para comprar un bat o un pedo similar. Claramente sólo recogí una pinche ramita más delgada que la línea entre ser amigable y ser puta. Ya me veía yo valiendo madre.

veebrak:

sigurrossgeller:

it’s tomorrow

we have to save her

veebrak:

sigurrossgeller:

it’s tomorrow

we have to save her

(Source: memewhore, via penis-hilton)

jaidefinichon:

D:

buzzfeed:

themanwhodidntcomeback:

letssaynotonormal:

plot-twist-im-gay:

superwholock-slytherinmerlin:

theroguefeminist:

3brokenstrings:

aunteeblazer:

omg

I just saved an entire week worth of science class.thank you tumblr

cool

spiders are not insects though

The more you know

I can not believe people still think spiders are insects. I assumed it was common knowledge that they’re arachnids!

THAT IS THE PART TO FOCUS ON.

spiderbro be like “hello friends don’t hate me i eat insects sorry they got that image mixed up but like srsly guys we’re super rad for real look us up on wikipedia or something”

(Source: iraffiruse)

jaidefinichon:

Cuidado perras.

jaidefinichon:

Cuidado perras.

An artist from Oakland, California collects trash and makes tiny mobile homes for the homeless.

housewifeswag:

did-you-kno:

image

image

image

image

Source

so this is pretty incredible

(via justlucas30)

Anonymous said: Well you're a faggot too scared to bottom.

rlmjob:

image

nice-wig-janis:

asking your hairdresser for a trim and they cut too much:
image

(via silverrainotaku)

(Source: jaidefinichon)

mintiscream said: What's your career goal after college?

50starsand13bars:

69shadesdarker:

♛

Anonymous said: A qué sabe el semen?

Yo sólo voy a decir lo que le dijo Timón a Simba en alguna ocasión: Viscoso pero sabroso.

image

msannthropic:

death-limes:

venipede:

osteophagy:

endcetaceanexploitation:

Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language.
One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation:
"People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing "MY BABY DIED." Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed "CRY", touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences." [23]
Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age.

more about Washoe:
after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.”
the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him.
*information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson.

Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could.

now if y’all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face

reblog for the commentary

msannthropic:

death-limes:

venipede:

osteophagy:

endcetaceanexploitation:

Washoe was a chimp who was taught sign language.

One of Washoe’s caretakers was pregnant and missed work for many weeks after she miscarried. Roger Fouts recounts the following situation:

"People who should be there for her and aren’t are often given the cold shoulder—her way of informing them that she’s miffed at them. Washoe greeted Kat [the caretaker] in just this way when she finally returned to work with the chimps. Kat made her apologies to Washoe, then decided to tell her the truth, signing "MY BABY DIED." Washoe stared at her, then looked down. She finally peered into Kat’s eyes again and carefully signed "CRY", touching her cheek and drawing her finger down the path a tear would make on a human (Chimpanzees don’t shed tears). Kat later remarked that one sign told her more about Washoe and her mental capabilities than all her longer, grammatically perfect sentences." [23]

Washoe herself lost two children; one baby died shortly after birth of a heart defect, the other baby, Sequoyah, died of a staph infection at two months of age.

more about Washoe:

after the death of her children, researchers were determined to have Washoe raise a baby and brought in a ten month chimpanzee named Loulis. one of the caretakers went to Washoe’s enclosure and signed “i have a baby for you.” Washoe became incredibly excited, yelling and swaying from side to side, signing “baby” over and over again. then she signed “my baby.”

the caretaker came back with Loulis, and Washoe’s excitement disappeared entirely. she refused to pick Loulis up, instead signing “baby” apathetically; it was clear that the baby she thought she was getting was going to be Sequoyah. eventually Washoe did approach Loulis, and by the next day the two had bonded and from then on she was utterly devoted to him.

*information shamelessly paraphrased from When Elephants Weep by Jeffrey Masson.

Even more interestingly, after Washoe and Loulis bonded, she started teaching him American Sign Language the same way that human parents teach their children language. It only took Loulis eight days to learn his first sign from Washoe, and aside from the seven that his human handlers learned around him, he learned to speak in ASL just as fluently as Washoe and was able to communicate with humans in the same way she could.

now if y’all don’t think this is the tightest shit you can get outta my face

reblog for the commentary

(via kyukyunya)

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via whoiszac)